18+...An Adult joke...Power of Media...Khushdeep

A servant enrolled his donkey in a race & won.



The local paper read:'SERVANT's ASS WON'



The MINISTER was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the servant not to enter the donkey in another race.



Next day the local paper headline read:'MINISTER SCRATCHES SERVANT's ASS'.



This was too much for the Minister, he ordered the servant to get rid of the donkey. He gave the donkey to his wife .



The local paper heading the news: "Ministers WIFE HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN".



The Minister fainted.



WIFE sold the donkey to a farmer for Rs 1500:00





Next day paper read:"WIFE SELLS ASS FOR Rs 1500:00''



This was too much, minister ordered his wife to buy back the donkey & lead it to jungle.



The next day Headlines:"ministers Wife ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD & FREE"



The Minister was buried next day!



This is called ...Power of media.. :"-)



(N.B.....ASS IS A DOUBLE MEANING WORD)



(Contribution- Bhadasi Chutkula)

100% AND SURE SUICIDAL...Khushdeep

So many options for Suicide...



Poison..............................



Sleeping Pills...................................



Hanging...........................................



Cutting the veins.......................................



Drown yourself..................................................



Jumping from a building........................................



Lying on train tracks................................................



But you have slight chance of surviving in all options mentioned above...



If you don't want to take that risk, then only option left for you is...



MARRIAGE....



SLOW AND SURE....

Makkhan, Dakkan and Gabbar...Khushdeep

Once Makkhan & Dakkan were travelling along with their friends Monty & Jaggi. On a road surrounded by forests on both sides, their car was attacked by robbers.Makkhan & his friends were pulled out of the car. The robbers blasted the car and took Makkhan, Dakkan and their friends in the middle of the forest where their boss Gabbar was residing.



Now, this Gabbar was fond of jokes. So, he put the condition that whoever tells a joke that makes every single person laugh should be left unharmed and alive, but if one single person doesn't laugh then the joke-teller would be shot to death.



Dakkan started telling the funniest joke he had ever heard, "One day........." and when he was finished, everybody were falling with laughter except Makkhan. So according to the vow,Gabbar shot poor Dakkan. Now, it was the turn of Monty. He also told the best joke he had ever heard. Again everybody laughed including the boss & his robbers, but still Makkhan was quite as a statue. So Gabbar shot him.



Then came Jaggi. As he opened his mouth to tell the joke, Makkhan suddenly burst into laughter. Everyone was puzzled. Makkhan was laughing madly.



Gabbar asked him, "Why the hell are you laughing without hearing the joke?"



Makkhan said laughing and giggling, "Oh! How funny Dakkan's joke was!"

License to rupture in laughter...हँसना मना है...Khushdeep

हँसना मना है...

In today's Hindustan Times, Mr. Khushwant Singh had mentioned a hilarious application form for getting Driving License  in Bihar, which was earlier captured on web. Its too funny...

DERIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM

—————————————————————–

NOTE: Please do not soot the person at the applikason kounter.

He will give you the licence.

If you dot know how to fill ,copy from your phriend (dost)applikason.

For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.

1. Last name:

(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

2. phust name:

(_) Ramprasadva (_) Lakhanva (_) Sivprasadva (_) Jamnaprasadva (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

3. Age:

(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

4. Sex: ____ (M) _____(F) _____ not sure _____not aplikable

5. Chappalva Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right

6.Occupason:

(_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelmaan (_) House wife (_) Un-employed

(Check karet box)

7. Numbher of children libing in the household: ___

8. Numbher that are yourj: ___

9. Mather name: _______________________

10. Phather Name: ____________________ (If not no,leabe blank)

11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest kilass attended)

12. Dental rekard:

(_) Ellow (_) Berownish-ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other -__________ Give egjhakt color.

(Check karet box)

13.Your thumb imparesson :

____________________________

(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, pleaje dot copy thumb imparesson also. Pleaje provide your own thumb imparesson.)

PELEAJE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS

Use thumb on your lepht hand only. If you dot have lepht hand, use your thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht hand.

NOTE : IF YOU DOT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DERIVE. WHE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS.

 

Walk in naked and walk out dressed for free ! ...Khushdeep

The first 100 people who turned up to Spanish label Desigual's store on Regent Street, London won an outfit of their choice.

Fashion fans started queuing up at 11pm last night and lots of people today left empty-handed after more than 300 people showed up.

Desigual's slogan was: 'Arrive half naked - leave fully dressed.'

As the doors opened this morning, shoppers rushed to grab items of clothing.

One girl told the Evening Standard: 'I have been queuing from 2am this morning, it's been amazing - a little cold but definitely worth it to get some free clothes.'

Shoppers in Stockholm, Amsterdam and Berlin were also treated to a free outfit if they turned up in their underwear.

A similar stunt by fashion shop Joy in 2009 ended in police ordering over 50 semi-naked girls to cover up after they stripped down to their underwear to win free outfits.

(courtsey...Metro Online London)

Gandhi Living It Up On Mars?...मंगल पर गांधी जी !...Khushdeep

Gandhi living it up on Mars ?

As a Hindu, India freedom fighter Mahatma Gandhi believed in reincarnation. Has he returned on the red planet?

A European Space Agency satellite flying by Mars sent back pictures that some say show Mahatma Gandhi’s face on the far-away planet, even though that image looks way more like Vladimir Lenin.

Of course that’s not really Gandhi — or Lenin — nor is it the first time someone has spotted a “face” on Mars. As The Daily Mail points out, amateur astronomers in 1976 claimed to see a human face in the heavens, but more recent and high-resolution pictures reveal it was nothing more than space dust.

Humans have a tendency to project human faces onto decidedly inhuman things. It’s a phenomenon called pareidolia.

When that optical illusion strays into religious territory — such as when people imagine they see Jesus in a tortilla — it’s called “simulacra.”



Such mirages could also be called “wishful thinking,” a “totally righteous trip” or “slow news day.”



Photo credit: European Space Agency.

CURRENT POLITICAL SCENARIO IN A NUT-SHELL..KHUSHDEEP

CURRENT POLITICAL SCENARIO IN A NUT-SHELL..

DIGVIJAY SINGH IS ON SPEAKER MODE...



MANMOHAN SINGH IS ON SILENT MODE...



SUSHMA SWARAJ  IS ON VIBRATE MODE...



SONIA AND RAHUL ARE EITHER SWITCHED OFF OR OUT OF COVERAGE....



-------------------------------



REMEMBER THE FAMOUS FILM OF 80'S EK DUJE KE LIYE...



WELL NOW IT IS BEING REMADE WITH KANIMOJHI AND A. RAJA IN LEAD ROLES...

TO BE SHOT IN TIHAR JAIL...



AND WILL BE TITLED AS...



EK 2-G KE LIYE...

Makkhan means 100% Laughter Gauranteed...Khushdeep

Genius Makkhan...

Enjoy the lighter side of it.

Makkhan decided to settle in Italy...Each Friday night after work, Makkhan  would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs... But, all of his neighbours were strict Catholics.... and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating chicken and meat on a Friday...



The delicious aroma from the grilled meats was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest...The Priest came to visit Makkhan and suggested that he become a Catholic.

After several classes and much study, Makkhan attended Mass... and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, You were born as Makkhan, and raised as Makkhan, but now, you are a Catholic..."



Makkhan's neighbours were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived... The wonderful aroma of tandoori chicken and meat kebabs filled the neighbourhood...The Priest was called immediately by the neighbours and, as he rushed into Makkhan's backyard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement....



There stood Makkhan, holding a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meats and chanted: "Oye, you were born a chicken, and you were born a lamb, you were raised a chicken and you were raised a lamb but now you are a potato and tomato"



(Contributed by Satindera Arora via e-mail)

MEHFOOZ ALI...MISSING OR WANTED...KHUSHDEEP

तलाश महफूज़ अली की

LAST TIME SEEN AT HINDI BHAWAN, NEW DELHI

ON 30TH APRIL 2011

BEHIND EVERY MAN, THERE'S A SMART WOMAN...KHUSHDEEP

Barbara Walters, of 20/20, did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan , several years before the Afghan conflict.



She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.



She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem happy to maintain the old custom.

Ms Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, 'Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?'



The woman looked Ms Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, “Land mines.”



Moral of the story is (no matter what language you speak or where you go):

BEHIND EVERY MAN, THERE'S A SMART WOMAN



(e-mail sent by Gurudev Sameer Lal ji)